The Arts of an Unsuccessful Chase
by Bl4ckHunter
Summary: One-shot story. Part of The Dar(h)k War series. Chasing a villain doesn't everytime go down as planned for the heroes. Sometimes it ends up with quite an awkward result.


**Something I contemplated writing. A part of _Dar(h)k War_ saga. A funny one-shot I hope you'll find amusing. Kind of a reference to certain funny scene from Chapter 3 of my story "_Age of Injustice_".**

**Disclaimer: I do not own _DC Comics_ or the CW TV shows _Arrow, The Flash, Legends of Tomorrow, Supergirl_ or any other characters or elements pertaining to the mentioned franchises.**

* * *

Green Arrow and Black Canary were chasing a thief on a rooftop as they jumped across.

"Ollie, he's getting away." Laurel said until the thief threw a grenade as they dodged but the explosion made them fall into a giant bird cage as they fell into a pool full of bird grain. They crawled out of the pool before they heard chirping as the birds flew towards them, pecking them all.

"Hey, hey, stop! Ouch!" Oliver yelped.

"Get off me! Get off me!" Laurel shouted as the thief screamed.

"Ah! Not a worm! I'm not a worm!"

Laurel turned on her Canary Cry collar, scaring off the birds as they flew away.

"Thank you." The thief sighed in relief before seeing Black Canary nearing him as he groaned. "Oh, come on."

Laurel hit him in the face, knocking him out as she and Oliver kept wincing at every step. "Ollie, I think I'm gonna need a cold shower. Really cold shower."

"I have feather in places I'd rather not talk about." Oliver muttered, examining the cuts on his suit, some of them even going deep under his skin. "At least we got inoculated against bird flu."

* * *

Later, as they were having a dinner at Nicole's house, Oliver and Laurel groaned and grinned as they sat down.

"You guys OK?" Barbara asked.

"Well, not really. This might be the most embarrassing chase we've ever done." Laurel muttered.

"What happened, Mom?" Ashley asked.

"Well…" Oliver sighed. "We were chasing a thief and we kind of fell into a pile of bird grain in the zoo and then it basically became a scene from Home Alone 2."

Everyone stared before bursting out laughing.

"You're kidding me." Nicole shook her head in disbelief.

"If only." Laurel muttered, rubbing her arms, where the birds had pecked her.

"I think this might be just as funny as Henry chasing Magpie." Mia said and Henry blushed, rubbing his face, while Nicole, Barbara and Riley snickered quietly and Bruce and Selina chuckled.

"You told her?!" Henry glared at Nicole, Barbara and Riley, betrayal in his eyes.

"I... might have mentioned that you sometimes failed at being hero." Nicole shrugged with feigned regret.

"Oh, man, this was hilarious." Mia said.

"Please, don't bring that up." Henry groaned, begging.

"What?" Ethan asked as everyone else looked confused.

"Dad, you remember how you sometimes got into some awkward situations with Jim, when you went rogue?" Nicole asked and Ethan suddenly nodded, smiling.

"This I have to hear." Ethan said, amused.

"It certainly is amusing." Bruce smiled as Selina smirked.

"Guys, seriously, can we change the subject?" Henry begged, clearly uncomfortable as he gestured around.

"Oh, I wanna know how much awkward it got for you, when you were a freelancer." Sara teased, holding Henry's arm as he wiped his face and groaned, as if he wanted to wake up from this nightmare.

"OK, it was on Mom's 28th birthday, when we were buying her a gift." Riley explained and Henry groaned.

Barbara continued. "We kind of came across this jewel thief…"

* * *

_"You think Mom's gonna like it, Aunt Barbara?" Riley asked as he was eying the silver necklace, while they went out from the jewelry._

_"She's gonna love it." Barbara assured._

_"Well, it was quite expensive and I think we could've bought her something cheaper but I think it's fine." Henry shrugged. "Better hide it in the bag before someone mugs us, kiddo."_

_"OK." Riley nodded, putting the necklace into the bag. But as they went down the alley, a moment later, a blue-haired woman in black leather suit snatched the bag from his arm, running away. "Hey!"_

_"Magpie." Henry sneered. "Babs, call the cops!"_

_"Hank-"_

_"Just do it!" Henry ordered, running down the alley. "Stop right there!"_

_Magpie threw in Henry's way some boxes as he jumped over. Magpie climbed onto some rafters as Henry continued chasing her before she jumped onto a ladder, climbing up, while Henry continued following her onto the rooftop and jumping over. They ended up in a Chinatown district, running on bamboo platforms before Henry tackled her. Magpie got up as Henry blocked her blows and kicked her in the midsection._

_"Give me that necklace!" Henry shouted, reaching out._

_"Finders keepers." Magpie sneered. She pulled out a knife, scratching Henry's jacket before he grabbed her arm and disarmed her. He kicked her in the face and grabbed her by her jacket. They struggled for a moment before falling down as the platforms collapsed and they ended up hanging on a bamboo, yelping._

_"That necklace! Give it back, bitch, now!" Henry yelled, reaching out._

_"Never!" Magpie shouted._

_Suddenly, the bamboo snapped as they both fell down, falling into a pool full of gutted fishes._

* * *

"And then Dad busted Hank and he had to spend a night in the cell smelling like sardines and it took one-hour long shower in the morning for him to get rid of that smell. Plus, he was basically harrassed by flies and cats the whole night." Barbara finished as everyone laughed, while Henry buried his face into his hands in embarrassment.

"I caught Magpie 15 minutes later." Bruce added, amused.

"You didn't bail him out earlier?" Laurel asked as Nicole, Barbara, Riley, Mia, Bruce and Selina laughed.

"You kidding? No one wanted to deal with him the whole day because of the smell." Nicole explained. "Jim sprayed him with disinfection but it didn't help much, besides, it was $15,000, half of our yearly tuition money."

"Well, that's what I call Henry's epic fail." Mia cracked and the entire room erupted into laughter.

Henry groaned as everyone laughed at his expense, rubbing his forehead in frustration. "I hate you. I. Hate. You. All." He tapped himself on the face with his palms at each word.

"You're still cute, you know that?" Sara kissed him on his cheek as he smiled somewhat awkwardly

"Well, at least we know who my boy's got the heroics from." Ethan patted Henry on his back.

"Careful, he might smell of fishes." Oliver cracked as Riley, Ashley and Mia snickered.

"One of the most embarrassing times, when Dad busted him." Barbara giggled.

"Well, at least I didn't have to chase a cat thief into a clothes-free private club butt naked, while fending off the members of the club." Henry sneered and Barbara blushed and pouted, while Nicole and Riley almost fell off their chairs, laughing as the rest stared at her.

"What?" Laurel laughed as Henry smirked and Barbara could feel herself shrink, while Selina snickered.

"Oh, this I have to hear." Oliver said.

"Oh, that's what you two were talking about!" Sara snapped her fingers, remembering when they were talking about looking for a new apartment for Nicole and Riley to move out of Henry's house as Barbara rubbed her face.

"Well, it's kind of awkward." Selina cleared her throat as Barbara was covering her face in embarrassment.

"Henry Samuel Fyff, I swear I'm going to kill you." Barbara sneered.

"Hey, that's my line." Nicole joked as everyone laughed at Barbara's expense, while Selina started to narrate what happened, smirking and Barbara dropped her face into her hands.

* * *

**Not sure if it was as funny as I had hoped it would be but I hope you all got a good laugh.**

**Please review and let me know if you have enjoyed this one-shot.**

**With regards**

**_Bl4ckHunter_**


End file.
